antoniohotdude

I’ve been hit. I have been hit by this force bigger than me that I cannot seem to avoid and get over. I have been hit and have not even noticed, until now.

What will I do with myself? You see me yet you refuse to acknowledge my feelings…all you see in me is a friend.
I have so much in my mind and want to shout it out yet when I try to start uttering nothing comes out. How deep or messed up can it be?

I try to figure what to do...

Ah! Only one thing comes in mind!

Flee. Flee away.

But fleeing away seems so hard to do...
when all I want to do...
is to be with you...

I recently joined the 33rd Milo Marathon held at the Quirino Grandstand. I joined the 10k Race together with my brother Arthur and my good buddy Bryant. Too bad I could not recruit anymore of my buddies to join. No ones seems to enjoy running these days. My other brother bailed out as well as my buddy Chubz. This is the first official race I ever joined. It was a different experience. The event was jam-packed with almost 19,400 participants. It was an awesome experience.

I ranked 235 over the 1304 participants in the 10k division.

I clocked in at:
00:59:17 less than an hour.

My pace was 00:05:56/km

My next race will be on July 19 for the Globe-Ayala Land Marathon held at the Fort. Will join the 10k again to try to beat my Milo time. Hope to see you guys there.

After this I will try to train for the 21k. Wishful thinking. I guess it runs in the family. My father is a 4 time 42k finisher. My sister is 21k finisher. I got to keep up.

Hopefully I beat my time of 59 minutes and 17 seconds next week. Hope to see you guys at the race.

Was purchasing tickets for that Hyped Up Bora trip in Aug. I was inputing my Citibank card details then pressed the Send button, then a few seconds later the computer screen reloaded...DECLINED!

After swiping my card all over Asia-Thailand, Singapore and Boracay and yesterday trying another attempt for Bora it finally declined. Now I got to pay up! Or shall I say my parents have to pay up. I don't want to use my own BDO credit card and go through the hassle of paying my own hard earned cash, I am still a child. Hahaha

I fucking maxed the card out. I should better learn how to budget wisely. Well for one I used the card mostly on food and only a little on luxury goods.

Maybe it's a sign not to go. Huhuhu. I should punish myself for over spending.

I am sure the plane tickets I selected will have been sold by the time I pay up. Those are the only viable schedules for me.

The Closest Thing To Crazy - Katie Melua

"How can I think I'm standing strong,
Yet feel the air beneath my feet?
How can happiness feel so wrong?
How can misery feel so sweet?
How can you let me watch you sleep,
Then break my dreams the way you do?
How can I have got in so deep?
Why did I fall in love with you?"

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Upon landing on my flight home I recieved a message from a Singapore mobile number, I read it, it said "I miss you." My heart skipped a beat. I was expecting it to be you. But was dissapointed to find out it was someone else.

Lakas ng tama ko sayo....

Kaslanan ko naman eh...hinayaan ko lang mahulog loob ko kahit alam kong hindi pwede...

Summer Has Arrived.....



If any of you guys will be in:

(April 9-16) Bangkok, Thailand!


(April 16-28) Singapore!


(April 29 - May 3) Boracay!


Don't forget to message me. I already have tickets....lets meet up and party!

Yesterday I had a quick buffet lunch with my sister. Our relative who she was sending to college finally graduated. Graduation rights were held in PICC. My sister is really kind hearted, she volunteered to shoulder the education expenses of some select relatives in need. Yesterday was the celebration. We treated 5 of our less fortunate relatives to fine cuisine.



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Tonight I will be heading off to Edsa Shangri-La for a dinner buffet at Heat with my two siblings and cousins.. My cousin will be treating us to dinner as one of her daughters finally graduted from Prep and will proceed to Grade 1 next year!. Congrats!

So much buffet so little time to workout. I might turn into a pig. Darn it!



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Last night I went to the gym and met up with a buddy. I invited my friend to run but my friend bailed out on me. So I ran at the bay for my cardio workout alone and just met up with my friend at the freeweights area. I did my shoulders. I should work out my abs next time.

I used to lift really heavy weights but noticed I wasn't getting chunkier or beefier. I guess my body will always just remain this way. So I've finally decided to just go back to the low weights, high rep program again I started out with four years ago to maintain my current muslces. At least I don't get stressed out as much but still get to feel the burn after the 20th count.



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Office work is okay. am currently designing a stage for this deo launch. The clients didnt like the initial design. They want a more talk show and modern look. So here I am working my ass off to produce that effing stage.

It's official, the Lopezes have finally relinquished their throne in Meralco after almost 50 years of control. They recently sold their shares in the power distribution company to the PLDT Group of Manuel V. Pangilinan for a meager P90 per share. The deal could have not have come at a better time as the Lopezes need to siphon off their $500M debt. The deal still left them with 2 lucrative power related companies, power generation that is (First Gen Corp and Energy Dev Corp). The agreement however caused factions amongst the Lopezes. Manolo Lopez, Merlaco,CEO and Gabby Lopez, ABS-CBN, CEO were against the decision of patriarch and First Phil Holdings Corp, CEO Oscar Lopez.

Meantime, the bigger issue will be the supposed power struggle between San Miguel Corp who also owns a big chunk of the Meralco Company and the new owner PLDT Group. This new events in the power distribution company still have yet to affect the electricity consumers. Let’s just hope that in spite of the supposed management crisis, prices of electricity would still be the same.
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I miss being a business news junky, chronicling and being updated on business news and stories about tycoons. I guess it sprouts from my dreams. Ever since I was child I've always envisioned myself to be walking on a long granite hallway in an Ermenegildo Zegna power suit while my gorgeous Gisele Bundchen like secretary briefs me of my long corporate schedule consisting of investor/client meetings. It has always been one of my dreams, that aside from being a Wall Street stock exchange broker.

But then I followed my passion for the arts and now I am currently a Multimedia Artist trying to find my way in the creative boardroom instead of the corporate boardroom.

I guess I really am extremes. Who would have figured I'd be an artist in and Advertising Agency? I guess I really am a walking contradiction. I seem this but actually am that. I am that but actually I am this. That's why I never try to define myself. I just simply am because defining oneself will mean putting an end to your evolution as a person.

Just saw the latest iPod Shuffle. I am a big fan of the iPod shuffle. It is the most convenient music player for running, and working out. But I am disappointed with the new Shuffle. They made sure that you can only use it provided you use the unique headphones it comes with. That is right. You can only control the shuffle using unique headphones.It won't work without it.

I hate gadgets that have their own unique accessories. It makes it more difficult for consumers and more expensive.

It has a voice over feature though. So now you can keep track of the artist and songs and you can finally have your own playlist.

The other day, I miss lunch time. It was a busy day. When I had time for a break I left immediately and went to the nearest fast food chain which was Mcbee. I bought take out and rushed to the office. Went to the pantry and ate. Upon sitting down for late lunch an officer and accounts manager approached me and reminded me that Mcbee foods aren't allowed in the office. So I had to transfer my burger to a plate and throw the wrap, transfer my soda to a mug and throw the cup, put my fries on a plate and throw away the package, far down bellow the trash bin so no evidence would ever be seen.

I totally forgot about the briefing. No competing food allowed inside the office. I forgot that Jollido was one of our biggest clients for PR work. Huhuhu. next time I should know better.

I didn't want to waste time. As soon as I left school I went straight for the kill. I am officially on my first job outside the family business. (Trying to run the family business was more difficult than I thought. Well it wasn't that much of a task, I was one of the bosses, courtesy of my parents, Mr. CEO and Mrs. President. So all the dirty work went to the employees. What compensated for the lack of exhuasting activities though, as the boss, was the drama, which ususally consisted of heated decisions and arguements against family members. I wasn't cut out for that. So I decided to go it alone. I'd rather keep the peace than battle it out.)


So now here I am on my first real job in my field of specialization. I am a graphic artist in the creative department of the company. I have very nice bosses. But As much as I want all things to go as smoothly as possible I can't help but feel screwed at times. I've never conformed to any sort of ogranization were the structure included a boss. The closest I had were professors. But then I pay tuition and I can just opt not to abide by them when I feel like it. This time however is different. I have to prove myself and work my ass off if I want to be on top of my career and I am feeling it, not just assuming it. I guess it's time to do a little growing up and be a man for myself if I want to be the golden boy. But how could I? To begin with I am not insipired by my compensation.

I am challenging myself to live within my means. My sallary will be my standard. I wonder how that would go for me. My knack for fine cuisine cost so much alone. Then I have my postpaid bills, gym and credit card bill...I maxed out my credit card again...damn it...well my parents are there to pay for it. But I don't feel good about it. I need to train myself to budget. Especially now that am offcially working. Suddenly I just have this big bag of reposibilities on my shoulders.

I hate that I've been purchasing lots of clothes lately. I've slightly become an impulsive buyer. I don't know why? I guess I have to bid farewell to being a brand whore. They are just too pricey for todays average Filipino sallary rates.

Finally, another milestone in my life. It is graduation time! Yeeeeeehaaaaa! PICC will be packed with Green blooded people, that is Lasallians/Benildeans. De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde Commencement Exercises will be on Valentines day! This seems like best way to celebrate heart's day as a status:single guy!

After all the shit I have been through I am finally marching the ultimate march.

I am here at the DLS-CSB SDA building right now, taking a break. Graduation rehearsals at the DLSU-Manila Sports Complex just ended. Will be on my way to the DLS-CSB theater in an hour for our picture taking in toga.

Damn, I've gotten so attached to school life. Now am nearing my final bow as a student. It is as bitter sweet as it can ever be.

Fuck it, after all that hard work I might not even get an honorable mention because am just a transferee. Huhuhu. That would have been the icing on my cake.

ADVERTISING PEOPLE...!
I didn't know it was so difficult to apply in an advertising agency. I guess they prefer pirating than hiring newbies. To my friends, if you know any openings in ad agencies please inform me. Here I am still sending out my CV to as much agencies as I can. They reply so slow. I guess it's also the recession.

I finally decided to go it on my own. Working in the family business is just too much for me. It's fucking stressful. Family and professionalism cannot just simply coincide not unless you're ruthless and heartless. So if you think I am nowhere to be found that just means am busy sending out my CV.

Anyways gtg, need to get my toga.

Still the best jiggly ass ever. Move over JLo, scoot over Shakira the Super Thigh and Butt Queen is back.

Beyonce is a really good singer, performer/entertainer. Great dancer and good singer. A great talent packaged in one gigantic butt.


Beyonce Knowles - Single Ladies

I missed this. I miss her sensual grinding, provocative looks and sexual seduction moves. Thank God she's back and sane again. No other girl like mah Britney.

Britney Spears - Womanizer

It's already my term break in De La Salle - College of Saint Benilde. Time to ask my mother and father for a blank check again-enrollment season.

Fuck! Only 3 subjects left to enroll and yet we still have to cough up as much as 30 grand. When I used to enroll 6 subjects, that was full load, we paid 63k a term. We have 3 terms. I was doing the math, that equaled to 190k a year. I've been in DLS-CSB for almost 5 years now. So that equals to, roughly around 880k.

I also had a 2 year stint at the University of Asia and The Pacific, another overpriced school that charges just as much. In a year they have 2 terms. Each term cost roughly around 60k, full load. My parents spent around 240k just for me to learn how to be a good kiss as talker. I learned the art of communication and writing in this school at the expense of 240k.

To sum it all up my parents have paid around P1,120,000 for my college education and that doesn't even include my high school education at the Southville Internationl School. Right now am regretting asking for P1,120,000 for my education which, I don't really think I'll ever get to earn in 7 years(span of my college life) if I work as a lame rank and file officer, receiving minimum wage in a boring office job. Am starting to regret spending so much on education when all I'll be using it for is to survive here in this crappy country. It's not like there is room for growth in this stupid shit hole country called the Philippines, where inflation growth is sky rocketing. This country has no room for enterprising. I feel it's pointless to go to a good school here in the Philippines. I have nowhere to use it for here. Am starting to believe about the saying, the older you get the more your idealistic thinking diminishes, then you start being practical until no idealism is left in you except the morals and values you have as a person. Why am I in a panic? Is this normal?

I wonder if the price of tuition or the College/University you come from really matters when you apply for a job. Am starting to think twice about it. The majority of the business tycoons with business empires are not all from La Salle and Ateneo. Lucio tan is from FEU, I think. I don't know what got me thinking this way. maybe am just scared because I still have only three more moths to go, hopefully.

With the minimum wage offer fresh graduates get I wonder if it's worth it to spend and waste time doing a crappy job as a rank and file officer over at some lame as office as against being one of the bosses in our family owned trading and distribution company, A. Dimaguila Enterpirses Inc. Am lost and confused. Should I or should I not. All am sure of is that I want to be different from my siblings. I want to work my ass and learn the value of working and earning. Not just wait on the inheritance and spend it like crazy on stupid material things.

December is The Day I've been waiting for all my life, hopefully. I've been a student all my life and getting sick of it. I still have 3 subjects left. The three heaviest. Thesis, Portfolio, and OJT2. Am doing a video documentary for my thesis. Good luck to me. Don't be surprised if I come knocking on your door armed with a video camera. Just please entertain me if ever that happens. I still also have to take a module for community service and produce an art exhibit for my works and attend 10 seminars and write a reflection paper for each. Fuck La Salle! It's like they want you to study forever with all the crap in their curriculum. I already took NSTP 1&2 in UA&P.

I guess am this way because am being bittersweet about the The Day. Am being excited and at the same time scared. It's like opening a new chapter of your life and so clueless about it.

DAZED AND CONFUSED!!! DAMN IT!

This is the DLS-CSB School of Design and Arts Building. Perhaps the most advance, expensive and innovative architecture for a learning institution here in the Philippines.

I hate dieting. I hate dieting. I hate dieting.

Sunday is supposedly my cheat day. But I think I over cheated. I ate Tinola for lunch and 2 cups of rice. For dessert I ate a super big bar of Roasted Almond Cadbury chocolate all to myself. I felt so guilty after eating it I sweared to myself I wouldn't eat dinner.

Dinner time came. I ate at Almon Marina with my family. Sydney Special roast beef sandwich, Minestrone soup, 1/4 roast chicken and pasta and a glass of Pepsi light. For dessert I had an ice cream sandwich at Sebastian's. I feel so guilty.

To be honest I've been cheating myself. I cheat even on weekdays when I feel so deprived. Argh! I hate dieting. And school is taking up so much of my time that I don't get to the gym regularly.

Okay...okay...okay...I just need to effing focus. Relax take it easy. I just need to breath and focus. So starting monday I'll try to eat healthy and not deprive myslef. What ever I like I'll eat just as long as in moderation. And I will eat small meals 3 to 4 times a day instead of the usual 2 large meals a day. Focus...focus...focus...!

I will gym more regularly and make sure to get my moneys worth. Effing Fitness First is increasing my bill again. I effing recieved their notice. So I should make the gym my second home.

Haaayayay. Why does achieving a great body have to be so stressful. Argh!

Honestly I used to despise Chinese people. I always thought they were loud, mad, angry people. Because when ever they converse they seem as if they're in a battle. I would hear their loud voices, high pitched, low pitched and just plain loud crass people who shout at each other. They also have this boisterous laughter that irks me.

My trip to Shanghai worsened how I viewed them. Well hands down to Shanghai first because it is such a progressive city but with all honesty the people there still got the worst of me. They have no manners. They spit and spit everywhere, literally. I had difficulty distinguishing the the social classes. There was an area there similar to Forbes Park. It seemed so upscale and high class but out of nowhere I heard that despicable sound of build up spit again. It was from a posh looking lady. It confused me. I thought are all Chinese people void of manners. It dawned to me, it's either they're ignorant of manners or it was me ignorant of their culture.

My point is I never really respected them until I found out my dad has Chinese blood. From his stories I found out he was born in Binondo and was neighbors with that old Yuchengco clan. He had lots of stories about his childhood that seemed very Chinese. Plus my grandfathers middle name is Yap. Wonder what he is like.

After watching the Beijing Olympics on the boobtube my views about them totally changed. I didn't know they were capable of delivering something so spectacular, breathtaking. There was just something in their delivery of the production that seemed so genuine.

I effing hate that I missed the grand grand opening of the olympics. I've been trying to look for more videos. I just finished watching the closing ceremonies now. I didn't even get to see the whole show but I was still so amazed with the production. China is the it thing right now. I think it will be the next great rising power. Hands down to their determination and hard work. The production number was no joke it was seriously crafted and planned.

Their presentation of themselves seemed so genuine and warm. I figured it was just cultural barrier that was preventing me from understanding what kind of people they are. Yes, maybe the way they talk still irks me but after seeing their culture I realized their also a happy, warm, genuine people. And am stupid for being so judgemental.

So I salute all Chinese people for being Chinese. The Beijing, China 2008 Olympics will probably be the most spectacular, breathtaking, magnificent olympics ever. It was a difficult battle between the productions of 2000 Sydney, Australia Olympics and 2004 Athens, Greece Olympics but China grabbed the throne. I wonder how London will keep up in 2012.

I still cant forget how overwhelming the presenation was. I wonder where I can buy the DVD for the closing and opening ceremonies. Solar channel should replay it. Huhuhu.

My morning was full of stress. I woke up late so I was in a rush the whole day. Started editing some images to print for the school contest I was joining in. It was way past my deadline: last week. I was just gambling whether or not they would or wouldn't accept my 2 entries. Had to cut short my editing to drive swiftly to the condo, was driving from Alabang, to meet up with the Globe DSL guy. I was switching my PLDT Plan 1995 to Globelines Plan 1995. Theirs comes with a better offer, comes with a landline already. I arrived, rushed to the 16th floor met with the DSL guy only to find out I left my keys back in Alabang. So all the rush for nothing. Told the guy to comeback on Saturday.

From the condo went straight to Studio58/Lab10 to have my entries printed. When I arrived parking was scarce. I found a space for my Tribute but the guard redirected me to a different parking slot. I positioned my car to park backwards. So I parked, while the guard was trafficking me, half way through I crashed into a stupid fucking tree! So I was left with a big fucking dent at the back of my Tribute. I was so dazed out with being in a hurry that the crash didn't totally affect me till now. Am so fucking pissed. Thought of looking for someone to blame but there was just no one. There was the guard. But what the hell was he going to do pay for the damages? Pointless. Am sure he can't even feed himself. So am left with trying to let go of this dreadful event and calm myself. Character building, bohoo!

After getting my prints rushed to school. When I arrived, I went straight to the 11th floor. I framed my photos and submitted them to my professor only to find out judging was last friday. Argh! I planned my day all for nothing. Fuck it. pardon me for my language. It was just a really fucked up day. I was just asked to share my photos for the exhibit.

So much for stress. Right now I just have to stay away from my effing car. Looking at it reminds me of my day of bad luck and it's stressing me out. Am so anal about my car. I don't even lend it to my parents and have been cleaning it like crazy now its all ruined. Argggh!

Okay this is the last time am talking about it. Tom will be a new day. A better happy day.

Wrting about it seems like

I found this video on the net. I actually felt what the guy was undergoing. My brother Arthur has an extreme case of OCD. His category falls under Hoarding. It's simple, he hoards everything to a point of exhaustion. He gets restless when he couldn't get his hands on those things he wants to hoard. Unitl it all piles up in his head and he just breaks down. It's a sad situation. Pitty him at times.

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Piedra
I was with the Gang! It was a packed night. I was actually doing my homework at home when nathan suddenly gave me ring. My sister also gave me a buzz. I couldn't resist the offer so I had to grace the event. The crowd was fun but there seemed to be a lot of college freshmen. They were so obvious. They could not seem to control themselves.

Next thing I noticed was the invasion of the drop dead gorgeous Brazilians. Man were they hot and sizzling. Perfect creatures! But frankly am starting to get sick of them. I see them on the boobtube, magazines, billboards, practically everywhere. We are actually treating them like Gods already. I hate how we Filipino's have this stupid colonial mentality. We have so many top, class-A models but why do we always end up adoring these white fine looking specimens who are trash in their own country. Notice why we never had a tanning lotion advertised on television? That is because we are so damn trying hard to look like them white specimens who are no better than us.

Sorry, I am no racist. I just had a brush of nationalism when I debated with my U.P. graduate professor regarding Graphic Designing. I tried to package indigenous barako coffee beans in a very western manner. My concept was to actually deceive the clients by making the package look like a foreign product. My activist professor did not agree with my concept and thus the long debate happened. She stated her point and I stated my point. In the end we both stuck with our own points but it also got me thinking. Why are we so afraid to be Filipino? Well there are a hundred million reasons why it sucks to be Filipino but on the other hand there is also as much reasons why it's great to be Filipino. I think it all boils down to each individuals choice and experiences. For me I choose to embrace my being Filipino. Thus, my-self realization of how much Brazilian beauties in the Philippines are killing Filipino beauties.


Chilling Out in Cuisine
I was in Cuisine last Saturday. I was with Fiona my bestfriend who just got home from Vegas. I was with my sister Bon and Raffy. We had dinner in Cafeteria then drank till the wee hours of the night in Cuisine. It was people spotting in Cuisine. I saw a lot of celebrities, socialites and wannabe socialites. It was fun observing random people who had their own thing going in their own little corner.

It was fun because I saw people from my high school. I miss Southville International School. Bohooo. I miss high school. It had so much drama and emotions going on. EMO was the word that best describes high school. Hahaha

Okay. So much random thoughts. Am getting tired I will sign of soon. Well, maybe not soon. Actually I will sign-off now.

Hope to read you soon fellow Bloggers!